I'm a middle aged guy struggling to survive with my physical health and with mental health problems that belie my intelligence and creativity. I feel I like I'm walking a cliff edge that is crumbling because I'm just expected to keep going as I have been but there are elements of my mental health getting worse, I think because of age and because the struggle wears the mind down.  I've always been an anxious person. Depression kicked in later with the suicide of my best friend and caring for my mother who had Alzheimer's but I was always a pretty strange person sociable, yet awkward in so many ways. Now my problem is organising myself or focussing on anything, because I'm so easily distracted and forgetful in the moment but it is so frequent I make constant mistakes and forget to complete tasks or take so long to do them.

About My Work

Much of my work is to try to encourage people to think about many things, whether they are trying to avoid important issues or don't quite understand or believe in actual real things. A lot of my poetry and songs were written when I was in particular moods and with various thoughts going on and though I don't feel that way now in many cases, like a diary entry it is an insight to where I and people like me may go in our heads, how vulnerable we get and that we are not being false. It is also to help others with mental health issues see how someone else has been coping or who may identify with my experience to know they are not unique or alone in their struggles.  Some of it is pretty dark in tone and could be triggering for people with mental health issues but I advise I do not advocate suicide or self harm and ask that if you do feel suicidal or hopeless, to get help immediately from the likes of Samaritans. If you know someone struggling please be kind and caring towards them. Don't assume someone who is suicidal is lying to emotionally blackmail you. If someone behaves like that they still need help.